We Are Shabbat
- Leann Shamash
- 7 hours ago
- 13 min read
#shabbat #parshatvaetchanan #vaetchanan #shabbatissweet #thesweetnessofshabbat #shamorvezachor #lechadodi #leorawenger #onegshabbat #appreciation
This week in Parshat V’etchanan, we read a repetition of the Aseret Hadibrot (the Ten Commandments)—the rules of the covenant given at Sinai. Among these commands is the mitzvah to keep the Sabbath. While first presented in Sefer Shemot as "remember" (zachor), this time in Sefer Devarim it is presented as "guard" (shamor). We are asked to do both. These two verbs represent different approaches: we cannot guard unless we remember, and we cannot truly remember unless we observe. Blending both actions opens the door to G-d’s greatest gift. [1]
It is within this sacred space of Shabbat that we begin this post. Here, you will find ways that different people both remember and joyously guard the day. While many of these accounts share similarities, each vignette below features a cutting board, a shopping list, and last-minute preparations. They are filled with warm conversations, hugs, sweet anticipation, family, and friends. Within these stories, you will find immense joy, alongside a few bittersweet memories. We are asked to remember and guard the Sabbath; these tiny accounts—let’s call them appreciations—are the building blocks of how memories are made. This is exactly how we guard the Sabbath: by actively creating these moments. Shabbat is the peace after the hubbub, the ultimate place you want to be. It is the original innovation, a gift to those who guard and remember.
On this Shabbat, called Shabbat Nachamu—the Sabbath of consolation following the fast of Tisha B’Av—I wish you a meaningful conclusion to the fast week, and a Shabbat filled with peace and beautiful memories.
Warmly,
Leann
P.S. I want to express my deepest gratitude to everyone who took the time to stop and reflect on what Shabbat means to them. Everyone is so busy, and receiving an email or text from me asks people to pause their hectic day to write. That is no small request, and I truly thank you for your time. This post will live on Words Have Wings for a while, so it is not too late to add your own thoughts! Please feel free to share them in the comments section at the bottom of the page.
P.P.S. How to navigate the page. Underneath everyone's posts you will find a tiny star which indicates the end of an individual's post.
I've added a few of my own reflections which italicized.
Nothing is as sweet as welcoming Shabbat while you are immersed in nature. Summer in New England affords us this special opportunity. A particularly lovely experience was attending Erev Shabbat services in a congregant’s wooded yard, overlooking a pond, listening to the birds’ song, and smiling as a wild turkey (kosher) joins the congregation. Welcoming the Sabbath bride on our screened porch while lighting my summer Shabbat candlesticks and embracing all shades of green beyond could not be more spiritual. We are grateful for the beauty around us as we breathe in the summer air and thank Gd for all we have.
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Beside the food that prepare for Shabbat, I have always bought flowers and made a special arrangement for the occasion of the Shabbat.
Even in the winter when flowers are less glorious, I have always made a point of bringing extra beauty to the house.
I've been making flower arrangements for more than 30 years, either for special occasions ( Bar and Bat mitzvahs, brit Milas, shabbatons, Yomtovim, or just special gatherings in private homes) so I've made a point of designing a special arrangement for our own family, specifically elaborated for Shabbat ( and or for the Yomtov).
Some times I've tried to express with flowers and some unusual leaves, the parsha's theme, or the unique subject matter of the Yomtov that permeates that particular week.
But basically there's always an orchestration of colors and shapes that will evoque the special moment in time that Shabbat brings to our homes.
It can be with a minimum of three stems ( as the Japanese Ikebana tradition calls for) or a luscious bunch of rich and varied kinds of flowers displayed in an aesthetic and graceful way.
Here are some examples:
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Shabbat rituals and feelings have evolved throughout the years.
These days I set aside time for a yoga practice and meditation. They are goals throughout the week but they are most meaningful on Shabbat.
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I try to put my candles out the night before and when I light I cover my head with a special cloth that a friend gave me….
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Each week, I think about how to create a nice Shabbat so I try to plan something during the week for Shabbat - to make it different from the rest of the week but to make it spiritual . We light Shabbat candles , and say prayers as we drink wine and have challah . Sometimes my husband and I are alone and enjoy the peace in our home and the space created to feel our humanity and spirituality and relax by having a nice dinner on our deck or in dining room , walking, Talking , watching tv .
Other times we celebrate Shabbat with friends and family . For example, we brought LED candles to the beach and said the blessings over challah and wine on the beach with friends and had a picnic Shabbat dinner on the beach. Key words - on the beach. We watch the gorgeous sky turn the water pink and the beauty of it all as the sun goes down.
On Shabbat, I can take time - it slows us down - and I can savor those special moment.
On Saturday morning , I love the renewal service with various musicians . I feel spiritual and so close to G-d and I am centered for the week after this service . Then the rest of the day is to enjoy my husband , my grandchildren , friends , or take time for myself - a walk on the beach , play music , play games, read or knit on my deck overlooking water and sitting on “ “mecheyah chairs. I try to leave my work in the house and any troubles behind and feel grateful for life
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Shabbat is always a very special part of my week. It’s often filled with a long leisurely dinner with friends with lots of leftovers that we can enjoy during the week, time reading a week’s pile of newspapers and magazines or a good book from cover to cover, a day in sweatpants with no makeup on or a morning at shul and quiet time to spend with my husband during a relaxed afternoon. I look forward to Shabbat every week!
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Texting with friends and family throughout the day on Fridays, to wish them Shabbat Shalom, is something that makes Shabbat special for me. Knowing that I am in touch at least once a week, checking in, wishing them peace, is how I stay connected these days.
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The first thing that came to my mind was walking to and from shul with my husband. It's a time for us to talk with no distractions and I also love lighting candles and saying the יהי רצון that is written on a beautiful hand made colorful paper cut that my parents’ brought us from Israel.
Lastly, homemade cholent at shul that we eat at 9 am!
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We often have a class on Thursday nights in which our Rav gives a talk about the upcoming parsha. I prepare the flyer about two weeks in advance of the class. On Shabbat I study the upcoming parsha to come up with an appropriate illustration after Shabbat is over.
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This is a photo of washing and drying all my Shabbat salad vegetables for the best night of the week!
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I think about this a lot.
Since I am alone now, things are different. On Erev Shabbat there are things I do because I have done them for so long I would feel incomplete without. I always light the candles and make kiddush. My motzi is made over a small piece of challah that I take from a loaf the freezer. Homemade, but not a whole loaf. It’s very casual. And I wonder if it counts. But it’s important for me to do it.
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*A Shabbat reflection. For years a friend has come to us for Shabbat. She has many dietary restrictions but each time she dines with us she brings a tiny roll made of grains she is able to digest, in to order to participate in blessings.
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My way of making Shabbat special is to buy fresh flowers for the table. It can be a few flowers or a bouquet. Flowers dress up the table, make me feel happy, and helps
make Shabbat different from the rest of the week.
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Since December I have been turning my phone OFF for Shabbat.
This means no e-mail and no texting and no facebook and not click bate searching.
I have found it to be a very beneficial exercise in Trust.
Before turning it off I try to make sure I have talked to my daughter and my sister and taken care of any business that I don't want hanging over me.
I also don't watch TV and don't shop.
I read spiritual books, study Torah, and take naps. I do drive to attend services and to visit people.
I do get on my computer for zoom services and Torah study.
It is a very nourishing practice for me. I feel free every week as soon as I turn my phone off.
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Shabbat is my Happy Place! Time to share good food and fun desserts with family and friends, read a good book, and relax. I love when my husband says, “You make a beautiful Shabbat table.” Recently, I was babysitting with my 6 year old granddaughter. I loved watching her face when she said kiddush while sitting in her dad’s chair.
Shabbat Shalom.
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We try to speak to each of our children and their spouses before every Shabbat begins to give them the traditional bracha —-- When I am home, I light six candles- one for my husband and me, and then each of the other candles represents one of my children. When I light each of those four candles, I say the name of a child, his spouse and their children ( if any)
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How do I spell Shabbat? Nachas, yes nachas. The kids and grandkids come to us or we go to them. Sometimes we solo it. Almost at the beginning of the new week, we already plan who's coming, and what's the menu.
We were both raised in homes where Shabbat was really queen. There were clear rules what was allowed, what not. When we established our home, like so many generations before us, Shabbat showcased our polished home, the best food, the gathering to bench licht on the candlesticks, lovingly used for so many generations. The pedestaled cake, fragrance from fresh challah, bought or handmade, and standing around the table while Saba did kiddush.
The love carries us through Shabbat.The cousins cuddle, laugh, sleep, argue, then hug. They all look to the sky to find 3 stars for Havdalah so they can get reconnected with their phone and friends. But first, who gets to light the candle, who gets to put it out? We smell the B'samim, sing, and look forward to next Shabbat HaMalkah (The Sabbath Queen). Our hearts burst with love, pride, and nachas. We have another generation of lovers of the Shabbat and family.
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*Something we do in the summer: Backwards Shabbat. It only happens when Shabbat begins late and the weather is lovely. On these occasions we meet at a park and have an early picnic together and then get back to our homes in time to make a quiet kiddush. It's fun for the kids and grandkids and it is unique. It happens about once a. year and it is always fun!
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We light Shabbat candles and say the blessing when we are home on Friday nights.
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When my kids were growing up I used to make challah. I always wanted people to know it was Shabbat as they walked in and they smelled challah. Years later and now my daughter makes challah and now my daughter and her kids give away what they call mitzvah challah. My grandsons bring mitzvah challah to those who need it. I love how the tradition has evolved.
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There is nothing like the smell of food to make it feel like Shabbat is coming. I make many special dishes for Shabbat, like roasted potatoes and Moroccan fish, but my favorite thing to make is challah. The smell of freshly baked challah fills the house with such a wonderful aroma and creates a special Shabbat atmosphere.
Making challah is a long process that takes the entire day. I first make the dough using white and whole wheat flour, water, eggs, yeast, sugar, honey, oil, and salt. I let it rise for a couple of hours, and then I braid it into several challahs of different shapes and sizes.
I like my challah to be covered with lots of sesame seeds. I dip each challah in water and then into a bowl filled with sesame seeds before letting it rise again. After a few more hours, I bake the challahs in a hot oven until they are golden brown. They are so yummy! Part of the fun is sharing the challahs with family and neighbors.
Another thing I like to do for Shabbat is buy fresh flowers on Thursday or Friday. They make my Shabbat table not only delicious, but beautiful as well.
Shabbat Shalom!
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While I don’t attend formal Shabbat dinners very often, whenever I do, my favorite part is gathering around the table with family and friends to enjoy a great meal together. To me, a memorable Shabbat meal begins before everyone sits down to eat. It starts with the thought, planning, and care that goes into creating it, and comes to life through the time spent preparing it. What makes the experience especially meaningful is cooking alongside the people you love. In my case, that’s B and some of my favorite memories are the ones we’ve created together in the kitchen before the meal is ever served.
While it’s no secret that I have a love for food, I believe a Shabbat meal is never just about what’s on the plate. Sharing great food is the glue that brings people together, creating space for conversation and lasting memories.
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One of my co-learners each week has been creating challot which relate to the weekly parsha. They are amazing. Here is one about Og, the King of Bashan, whom we recently read about in Parshat Devarim. Og was a giant and required an enormous bed.
Elizabeth Ross' challah before baking
Elizabeth's Ross' challah after baking
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For Shabbat
I take a few different approaches that bring me closer to Hashem:
I listen to (2) different podcasts weekly that give different perspectives to the week’s Parashah. This allows me to really think how this impacts my life…several are from a Sephardic Female perspective and one from a Male perspective.
I listen to several Male rabbinic perspectives around the world (Spain, Mexico, and Israel).
I also believe women are a big part of daily perspectives…it’s important to listen to them too. i also listen to a Sephardic female podcast too.
Additionally to prep for Shabbat I make it a priority to give virtually tzadakah to Jewish organizations that I hold close to my heart (food and health) weekly.
Finally, I believe we should always enter Shabbat as clean and pure as possible to receive the Kallah of Shabbat…I try to go to the Mikveh on Fridays to wash, and clean myself not only physically but also mentally and spiritually to prepare myself.
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For me Shabbat has become a synonym of regrouping, of regathering of strength and replenishing of energy. It is a special bubble in which to rest oblivious of everything else. A moment of pause , reflection and appreciation. ❤️❤️❤️
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An element of Shabbos observance I like to keep in mind is connection. So one thing I do on Fridays, to help get me ready for Shabbat is to reach out to my old college roommates with a short Shabbos greeting. Sometimes it’s just short hello, sometimes something we’re particularly grateful for, or something special we’re doing for Shabbat. We’ve been out of school for decades, and this helps us stay connected and make shabbat different.
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Something I remember from a friend's home: After making kiddush, this friend would give his wife a kiss and say, "Shabbat Shalom, pretty lady." These same words and actions repeated over decades.
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Imagine seven friends living together on a kibbutz. Our lives intertwine as we each go about our weekly activities. Sometimes we don't see each other at all for days! So for years now we gather each week for Erev Shabbat Happy Hour. We raise a glass, share what's going on in our lives, and welcome in the Shabbat together with a warm and fuzzy feeling!
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Cooking for Shabbat is an elaborate task but very satisfying and makes the meals for Shabbat more special.
Shabbat, is a restful peaceful day, after services attended, and seeing friends but no particular "work or physical effort" done, a nap is almost a must to revive the body and mind.
Shabbat is a day to look forward to!! Enjoy!
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Shabbat offers an amazing opportunity to design special dishes, something unique for the parsha of the week or a theme that will come up in the coming days, or even just fun compositions that will bring pleasure to the senses.
I especially love creating dishes for the guests and family that hopefully will be a delight for the eyes, with provocative scents and delicious food to open everyone's appetite.
Here are some examples:
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No matter where life takes me, whether it’s Miami, Boston, or Barranquilla, Shabbat remains my constant anchor. Since arriving in Miami, I’ve formed a special Shabbat circle with my sister and my best friend. We’re joined by our grown-up kids, our nieces and nephews, and an adopted older lady—my sister-in-law’s mother—who has become part of our family.
Each week, we take turns hosting, gathering around the table to light the candles. All the women join in, sharing wishes for health and happiness for ourselves and the world. Then my husband lifts the mood by singing with such heartfelt emotion that everyone can’t help but join in.
It’s a tradition that fills our home with warmth and connects us to something bigger. Shabbat, for me, is more than a weekly ritual; it’s a steady heartbeat that keeps me grounded and connected to my past and my present—and, hopefully, something our children will carry forward in this tumultuous world.
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Things I love about Shabbat:
creating a special beautiful dinner table; singing the welcoming song to the Shabbas angels, hearing my husband’s melodious bass sanctifying the wine and of course eating our best dinner of the week.
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Things I love about Shabbat:
Relaxing!
Playing more sports.
Hanging out with family and friends
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First is that the entire structure of Shabbat restrictions enables me to shift my entire consciousness from becoming to being. Time stops. I emerge into a framework that enables me to simply exist as a created being; I desist from creating, from co telling from manipulating and emerge as a creature part of the rest of Gods natural world. The minhag of making a blessing on fragrance (from a citrus fruit) Friday night after kiddish deepens that shift. Fragrance and olfactory sensation after all are the most spiritual sensations. That moment brings intentionality to an awareness of being.
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Other posts on Parshat Va'etchanan from Words Have Wings
The Sea Captain's House
Nachamu Ami
Nachamu
Six Words
שָׁמוֹר וְזָכוֹר
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